


Green

by Leorajh



Category: Watch Dogs (Video Games)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Holiday Mischief, Humor, M/M, Public Display of Affection, Roughhousing, Spooning, Undressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 08:07:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10355919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leorajh/pseuds/Leorajh
Summary: A drunk Marcus and Wrench prove to each other that they're wearing green on St. Patrick's Day.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first publicly posted fanfiction in a few years. I hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think if you feel inclined to do so!

They weren't Irish. (Well, Wrench could have been, but who would know?) But Irish or not, it was St. Patrick's Day, the day celebrating a man who found God while enslaved. Or, the day where everyone drinks too much and consumes a lot of corned beef.

Josh and Sitara sat opposite Marcus and Wrench in a booth at a restaurant near the hackerspace. The former filled their stomachs with a reuben sandwich big enough that they decided to split the massive hunk of bread, meat and sauerkraut between themselves. The latter went for the booze as soon as it hit the table, their meals lost in a forest of brown bottles over time. The slice of rye bread atop Wrench's sandwich was even starting to slide off from being dampened by the cabbage.

"We gotta get some green beer too." Marcus laughed.

"Marcus, green beer is just made that way with food coloring. If we're going to drink, we might as well drink alcohol in its purest form." Wrench's mask lit up with two carats, raising a bottle to toast his friend before pulling his mask back just enough to take a draw of liquid.

"I'm glad we have you around." Marcus laughed dopily, popping some peanuts into his mouth as he watched a couple at the bar interact. The girl, decked out in glitter, a leprechaun's hat with gold coin antennae, and a green tank top over tattered shorts reached over and pinched her boyfriend rather hard, and they both laughed, exchanging words that he couldn't make out. "Hey hey hey, that girl just went and pinched a brother."

"Yeah, because he isn't wearing anything green." Wrench informed. "That's a rule."

"Uh oh." Sitara grinned mischievously, pushing her plate towards Josh, who quietly plucked at her remaining french fries.

"Uh oh what?" Marcus arched a brow.

"Where's your green, gentlemen?" She teased. "Josh and I have green on." Sitara had purposely decided to go a festive route, though with little effort needed. A green scarf lightly hugged her neck, and she had worn a black Dedsec sweatshirt with her designs screen-printed on it in bright green ink. Her eyes sported her preferred shade of glittery green as well. Josh and his hoodie were inseparable unless he was working on certain things, so he more than had his green quota covered by default.

Marcus was in blue jeans and a sea lion t-shirt he bought from a tourist shop after a mission where he decided to take a rather long swim in the ocean to avoid being caught by the Umeni-Zulu who'd stumbled upon his RC jumper. For a basic shirt, it had quite a bit of story behind it. Wrench went with his usual; plenty of studs galore, of course. Wrench gasped mockingly, starting to lean against his best friend and sandwich him against the wall.

"Marcus! Not a trace of green anywhere! For shame! I must now enact your punishment and-"

"Wait, wait, wait." Marcus lifted his arms, nudging the other back. "I have green on. Miranda said so. Where your green? I ain't see any green on you!"

"I'm wearing green! You just can't 'see' it." Wrench 'winked' at Marcus.

"Oh really?" Marcus smirked. "Well let's 'see' it!"

"Yeah Wrench, where's your green?" Sitara encouraged, while Josh uttered a soft, annoyed sigh and took another bite of his dinner.

"All over baby! Sitara, you're an artist, you've gotta know what rich black is."

"Obviously, it's black with a percentage of cyan, magenta, and yellow in it, but-"

"And yellow and cyan make green, so there's green in my black leather."

"Bullshit! I'll show you rich black!" Marcus smirked, grabbing Wrench by the sleeve.

"No no no, if you're not wearing green, you can't do the pinching! That's how it goes, right?"

"I told you I got green on!"

"Then you have to show the evidence! Miranda isn't here to point it out."

"I ain't strippin' in the middle of the bar. It's too early for a walk of shame."

"Sitara, he's fibbing! Pinch him! No wait, Josh, you're closer! Pinch hiiiim..." Josh went for another beer, while Sitara sat back in her seat and giggled.

"There you kids are, I thought you said you were at the other bar." T-Bone emerged on the scene, also decked out in a green unbuttoned shirt, a 'Buy Me A Beer, St. Paddy's Day is Here' trucker cap, and a t-shirt with a screen-printed design of a leprechaun's suit jacket over top his rolled up jeans and sandals.

"Ray! Pinch Marcus!" Wrench begged.

"No way man! Pinch Wrench, he's closer to you!" Wrench and Marcus were laying on top of each other in the booth, each using one hand to control the other's with the beer hitting them hard while their sandwiches still remained untouched amidst a sea of open and emptied beers.

Ray helped himself to half of Wrench's reuben. "It's only nine o'clock and you two are already floundering on top of each other. New record. Any of these still full?" Sitara pushed a bottle towards the older man, scooting over and wrapping an arm around Josh, who'd crossed his arms and planted his head on top of them, tank full and the alcohol giving him a nice, floaty feeling.

"They both aren't wearing green, and Wrench said you have to pinch people who aren't wearing green today." Josh explained.

"While this is routine of these two I'm kind of impressed there's a clear and cut reason for it today." Ray sat down and took a drink. "You better ease up though, you two wrestling looks like something else-"

"Aha! You lied, your boxers are red!" Wrench slurred, tugging at Marcus' waistband.

"I rest my case." Ray sighed.

"The pattern is green!" Marcus defended, going for Wrench's drawers. "Ain't you played Earthworm Jim 2?"

"Of course I have!"

"What color is Jim's Big Red Gun?"

"Green-FUCK!"

"So everything red is green if you go with that logic!"

"Then I have green on in plain sight!"

"Oh, but you didn't remember that before, and...and you wear that all the time, so it doesn't count-"

"But wait, that means Josh's hoodie doesn't count then!"

Josh sat up in his seat nervously, but Sitara offered a reassuring back pat.

"No no, Josh's hoodie is real green...rich green..." Marcus babbled.

"Sitara has rich green on too, it's like...pure green..."

"Sitara, let me borrow your...scarf."

"I don't think so. We've only been to one bar and somehow the two of you are both smashed." Sitara was now regretting the fact that she'd pointed out their lack of holiday color.

"I'm running on pure caffeine today, food is for the weak!" A very drunken Wrench declared.

"I beat you, I had an energy bar. I win." Marcus smiled, Wrench lying on top of him like a squishy iron maiden.

"Hey. Hey M." Wrench muttered, face planted against Marcus' chest.

"What? Move over a little, this is like acupuncture shit and I think it's helping."

"Sure, sure..." Wrench shuffled a bit. "It's getting really hot in here."

"Mmhmm. It's dark too." Said the man who was cut off from the glow of fluorescent lights thanks to the table and Wrench's body. Wrench randomly had another realization from something on Marcus' shirt catching his eye.

"Oh right. We should go find a four leaf clover, then we won't need any green. The clover will protect us from pinches."

Sitara facepalmed from across the table, while Ray basked in the bucket of beers he ordered. He pulled a bottle out of the ice and held it out to the designer sympathetically.

"We gotta go outside to look for one." Marcus moaned. "It'll be dangerous."

"But we got each other's backs, man! We can take it! It's just like picking a fucking flower."

Wrench and Marcus clamored to sit up, seeing the big metal bucket of ice and a bouquet of beers on the table. As they both tried to take one, Sitara tugged the metal handle and pulled them between herself and T-Bone. "Weren't you going to go find a four leaf clover?"

"Shit, yeah. Four leaf clover, then more beer."

"What if we order a green beer and just hold it, not drink it-"

"You don't not drink a beer, it's not a fashion accessory. You hipsters and your crazy clothing ideas..."

"Not a hipster, least not tonight. We all Irish tonight."

"You're an Irish hipster then."

"Then you're an Irish...porcupine."

"Marcus, come on." Wrench climbed out of the booth, hanging onto the wooden coat hanger nailed to the booth's wooden post like a grip, while Marcus followed. Sitara pulled out her phone while Ray snickered.

"Good luck gentlemen...the hell they gonna find a four leaf clover around here?"

"They won't." Sitara grinned.

"I got you man, we can do this. We can run this gauntlet together." Wrench muttered, leaning on Marcus' back. They pushed through the growing number of patrons, concerned they cared enough to point out their lack of green. While they mildly pissed off a few people, they made it to the door unscathed.

"Whew, we made it." Marcus looked back at the bar, then down the street. A police cruiser had just passed by before they went out the doors. A boon for the two smashed hackers, indeed.

"Alright, first," Marcus started, then got a bit confused as the cool evening air hit them. "What's the game plan again?"

"We should both find something green to wear..."

"No way, I'm wearing green, I told you..."

"But I didn't see it!"

"Then hold up, we'll stop at the garage."

"...Yeah, that's a good idea. We should totally do that."

"We both make sure we got green on, then we'll...yeah."

Upon reaching Wrench's garage, the two drunk dorks scared off a few stray cats with their raucous laughter as they approached. Wrench let out an off-key hallelujah chorus as the garage door slowly lifted and the building inside illuminated. After they stumbled inside, he shut it and climbed onto the back of an old truck he had parked, which had an old, comfy couch in its truck bed along with some of Wrench's personal belongings. Marcus stood on the garage floor and watched Wrench toss clean laundry up into the air. "Black, grey, grey, black or grey, grey, washed out black, red...OH, red! Marcus!"

"No, that's red. Green dude, you gotta have some, let me help you look." Marcus climbed up onto the bed and went through another pile of clothes. "...Wrench." He held up a pair of green boxer shorts with white pinstripes. "Green."

"Perfect!" Wrench started to doff his clothes frantically, his vest falling to the floor as he fussed with pulling his hoodie off in a way not to upset his mask's positioning.

"Dude why you taking all of your clothes off?" Marcus wondered.

"To show my green...wait, there it is!" Wrench dropped his jeans and glowed at the sight of his socks, which were indeed green...and had a hole in the left where his toe peeked through. "Now you get undressed."

"Alright, alright." Marcus couldn't help admire the man and his sketchy tattoos as he started with his jeans and stripped to his britches, revealing that he indeed had some actual shade of green on his boxers in the form of a cannabis print. A gift from Wrench, who reacted to the sight with sideways 'hearts' for eyes.

"You actually wore them! M, you're a true romantic."

"'Course I wore'em, they're a gift from you. And they're green, and rich green, so they count."

"Hey, what's that on your t-shirt?" Wrench asked, seeing the other's t-shirt a bit more clearly (and in a more sober light) with his coat off.

"Oh, this...?" Marcus plucked the small metal pin from his shirt. "Oh right, Miranda gave this to me earlier when we bumped into each other. She said I wasn't wearing enough green." He held it out to Wrench. It was a four leaf clover...the very object that started the nonsense in the beginning. He hadn't noticed it until he had his face pressed against Marcus' chest, being so smashed.

"I guess we found our lucky clover." Wrench said in amusement, carats flashing on his display.

"Mmhmm. I kind of don't feel like going back to the bar right now though."

"Yeah, fuck it. I'll rig up the space heater and we can crash here for the night."

"Good plan, good plan. Where am I gonna sleep?"

"I'm going to have to wash all this anyway, we can use it as a nest." Wrench unceremoniously plowed into the clothing, using an untouched pile of laundry like a pillow. "You can have the couch since you're my guest!"

"Nah, it's fine. This is strangely kind of comfy."

"We're still wired, that's why." Wrench explained, hitting the space heater to get it to heat better than the subtle room temperature air it was producing. "Damn it...I knew this outlet was weak."

"Hey, I got you." Marcus wrapped his arms around Wrench's chest and pulled him closer. They'd keep each other toasty warm with their body heat. He also found a folded blanket among the disturbed stacks and lazily threw it over them, using his feet to kick out and open the material over their legs. "How's that?"

"I can work with this. It's kind of early to be crashing..."

"If we wake up later, we can hit another bar in our green."

"We'd better keep the four leaf clover close then." Wrench clenched the pin in his hand. "Good plan. Night M." Wrench said contently, snuggling against Marcus' chest.

"Night Wrench."


End file.
